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In this episode, I delve into a critical trait for effective leadership: confidence. Confidence isn’t something we either have or don’t, it’s a skill that can be developed, strengthened, and refined. Drawing on neuroscience, personal insights, and practical strategies, I explore how leaders can overcome common confidence blockers like imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and fear of failure. You'll learn actionable techniques to reframe self-doubt, lean into challenges, and cultivate a growth mindset. Let’s work together to build your confidence muscle and elevate your leadership potential.
Mentioned in This Episode:
The Source: Open Your Mind, Change Your Life by Dr. Tara Swart. Learn more about the book here.
Transcript:
Hello, and welcome back to LeadWell with Jacqui. My name is Jacqui Butler. I’m your host, and I’m an executive leadership coach. What that means is that I spend my days working with leaders on their communication skills, leadership strategies, influence, and more. One of the most impactful areas we often focus on—partly because it’s frequently lacking—is confidence. That’s the topic of today’s episode.
I think many people believe confidence is something you either have or don’t. "I’m just not a confident person." Some might even link it to introversion or extroversion, but that’s not the case.
Confidence, like all emotional intelligence and leadership traits, is a skill. It can be learned, cultivated, and built upon, but it also needs regular use—like a muscle. The more we lean into confidence, the more it grows. As confident leaders, we can inspire trust, engage our teams, make effective decisions, communicate clearly, and uphold boundaries—all critical leadership skills.
Boundaries, by the way, are something I’m still working on myself! Confidence, too, is always a work in progress, which is why this topic resonates with me. Many leaders struggle with self-doubt. In fact, 50% of female leaders report significant self-doubt about their job performance, compared to 31% of male leaders. It’s a common challenge, and we’re going to explore it more today.
The importance of confidence can’t be overstated. A McKinsey study even found that self-confidence is a stronger predictor of leadership potential than skill level. Think about the leaders you’ve admired and followed. Chances are, they exuded confidence in their abilities and communication. Conversely, when a leader lacks confidence, it can plant seeds of doubt in those they lead.
There are many individual drivers of low confidence. As we discussed in the last episode, imposter syndrome is a big one, particularly when stepping into new roles. A common scenario I see is when someone is promoted, and their former peers now report to them. This sudden shift in authority can really shake someone’s confidence.
Another driver is what I like to call "comparisonitis." As humans, we naturally compare ourselves to others. In leadership, this often means focusing on what others do well and seeing it as a reflection of our own shortcomings. When we repeatedly do this, we reinforce a belief in our brain that we’re not good enough, which undermines our confidence.
Perfectionism is another culprit. Many leaders are high achievers who drive for results, and that drive often propels them into leadership roles. However, perfectionism can shift focus to what we’ve done poorly, what’s not “perfect,” or what we don’t know. This self-critical lens pulls us away from self-awareness—which balances strengths and areas for growth—and into a cycle of negative self-talk.
Fear of failure is another confidence killer, particularly in high-stakes scenarios, like presenting to executives or boards. This activates the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for our fight-or-flight response. When the amygdala is hijacked, it diverts resources—like oxygen and glucose—away from the prefrontal cortex, which handles logic, decision-making, and communication. This can impair our ability to think clearly, communicate effectively, and maintain confidence.
Fortunately, there are many simple strategies to rebuild confidence. One key insight is that our brains are neuroplastic, meaning they can reorganise themselves, form new neural pathways, and unlearn unhelpful patterns. Visualisation, for example, is a powerful tool. Dr. Tara Swart discusses this in her book The Source. Visualisation activates the same neural circuits as actual experiences, helping us build confidence.
When working with clients, I’ll often ask, “What would confidence look like for you? How would you act differently? What would others see or perceive? What impact would you have?” Building a mental picture of confident behaviors allows you to live into that vision.
Reframing negative thoughts is another effective approach. Instead of thinking, I’m terrible at public speaking or I’m not ready for this role, try reframing with thoughts like, This is a great learning opportunity. I’m nervous, but that’s okay—I’m growing. Changing the narrative you tell yourself can literally rewire your brain for success.
I also encourage clients to "bookend" their day. Spend two minutes each morning setting an intention, perhaps while brushing your teeth. Visualise how you’ll approach challenges with confidence and a growth mindset. Then, in the evening, reflect on what went well and what you learned, focusing on self-awareness and self-compassion—not self-criticism.
Power posing is another fun and effective strategy. Research shows that standing in a "power pose" for two minutes—think Wonder Woman with hands on hips—can boost testosterone (linked to dominance) and lower cortisol (our stress hormone). It’s a quick way to create a physiological shift that translates into real confidence.
Finally, stepping out of your comfort zone is essential for building confidence. Tackling new tasks, taking on challenging roles, or pursuing growth opportunities—even when you don’t feel fully ready—reinforces your capability and builds confidence through action.
Remember, confidence isn’t about knowing everything. It’s about having a grounded belief in your ability to learn and grow. Surround yourself with supportive people, lean into a growth mindset, and ask the right questions.
That’s it for today! I hope at least one of these tips inspires you to assess and grow your confidence. Thanks for spending time with me, and I’ll see you next time.
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